Sad Sad Day:(

We had to put Midnight to sleep today.
I have to say that it was the toughest decision I have ever made.
When it came right down to it, we knew we had to do it but I was selfish and couldn't imagine taking her life!
She has had a tumor for quite a while and it has just grown and grown. We took her to the vet after Thomas got home from Iraq and they said there really wasn't much we could do. Even if we did the surgery, which would entail removing ribs, she would probably die shortly after from the radiology. The cancer was just too aggressive. So we opted to let her live out her life with the cancer... never thinking it would all be over so soon!
I noticed a few weeks ago that she had started pulling the hair from the tumor -that now covered most of her chest and side. By Wednesday of last week I could tell that it was coming through her skin. We called the vet, Friday, for advice and they said there was no rush to put her down since she was still eating and drinking. [I was having to pick her up to her food bowl because she couldn't jump anymore.] But yesterday Thomas looked and the tumor had completely broke the skin and was just this gaping hole now. We knew Monday was going to be the day. But she didn't seem to be in any pain... she hasn't been laying on her left side for a while now but has never seemed unhappy.
We spent the morning taking some pictures and grooming her... just trying to let her know just how much we really loved her. And then we took her in. The whole process happened very quickly. I couldn't watch so I covered my eyes but held her head... and felt it go limp when she was gone. The vet was very comforting and assured us that we did all that we could do for her and that it was the right time to bring her in. It would have been a matter of days before she would have been suffering. So we were able to keep her from that. It was so hard for me to believe that she was just gone. She flinched a few times and opened her mouth [all just muscles reflexes] and that made it almost unbearable for me. If you know me whatsoever, you know how sensitive and emotional I can be... and I am just so glad I had Thomas standing there to hold me when My knees got weak.
She was a wonderful cat! I am so grateful to have had the time I did with her! She went far too soon... but she never deserved to suffer. She is in a better place. A place without cancer. And we are all the better for knowing her!